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17 February 2013 @ 07:46 pm
questions you've asked (in search terms): santa muerte, ratings, altars, saints, voodoo  

Who is rated the best on AIRR of hoodoo rootworkers, I have a complex problem that needs solved, who can do rootwork?

Every worker at AIRR can do rootwork. Every worker at AIRR has a minimum of two years experience working for the public, professionally; most have much, much more than that. We all handle complex cases all the time. There is no rating system, and "ratings" and "awards" are two of the warning signs for scam artists and unethical practitioners. Anybody claiming to have received a spellcasting award or to have been voted #1 in something or other is lying. There is no such organization that awards such things, tracks workers, assembles ratings, or anything like that.


The underlying problems with looking for ratings are numerous; I'll just touch on a few. First of all, what are the established criteria by which to "rate" a worker? If you named yours, I can guarantee you that the next person to name their own will have at least one different criterion or will give one criterion more weight than another. Every case is unique, every worker works a different way, and so much depends on "fit," on communication and on the worker and client "clicking." If you go read one of those forums dedicated to folks reporting on their experiences with spellcasters, you will quickly realize how ridiculous and often contradictory the various members' criteria for rating or judging a spellcaster are. There are no rankings, there is no organization that would track such things even if there were, there are no criteria by which to "rate" workers that are logical, fair, verifiable, and able to be applied across the board. There's just no such thing as "the best worker" any more than there is any such thing as the best doctor or the best lawyer. Workers, like doctors and lawyers, have different specialties, different criteria for taking cases and accepting clients, different styles, and different ways of working. There is no such thing as "the best worker" any more than there is such a thing as "the best lawyer" or "the best doctor." (Though obviously there are some dermatologists that have better reputations for, and more experience with, adult acne in a certain city than others; but then again, they might not be in your insurance plan or you might not be able to get to their office easily. There are LOTS of criteria for choosing a worker or lawyer or therapist or financial advisor or anything else, and "customer satisfaction" is a pretty nebulous thing to go by.) And I realize this is going to piss some people off, but a lot of times a client is not in a position to rate a worker on anything other than bedside manner and communication style, which are part of the picture but certainly not the whole picture, and arguably not the most important parts. You just can't apply statistics to this kind of thing.

If you are looking for a phone reading so you can have reconciliation work done, I'm not the worker for you. If you some good old fashioned smiting on your deadbeat ex, there are some workers who don't do work like that and some who will gladly do that work for you (after a reading or intake appointment or consultation or something). I will do that kind of work if it's justified, if it will benefit the client ultimately, and if the client is not a total stranger to me or comes recommended by a colleague. But I have no patience with frantic lovers who think their breakup is an emergency and who will label messages "urgent" and then say "he didn't call me last Friday!!!"; you will not want to come to me about that kind of thing. (If that hurts your feelings or seems disrespectufl, I'm sorry, but while you're texting "urgent," I'm dealing with an actual emergency with a client whose child is being abused by the custodial parent, or who is two days from eviction, or whose spouse has just died and left him with tons of secret debt, so no, your love life is not an emergency.) But there are other workers who work with those clients well and have the patience to deal with them and educate them about how reconciliation and return-a-lover work works. Most professional workers will be able to tell you something about themselves, their way of working, and their philosophy and communication and reading style; you should find one who appeals to you and drop them a line. I'm sorry to say that that's the only way to do it - there is no ranking system and no way to rate rootworkers in any kind of across-the-board system, no way to get reliable statistics (be wary of anyone who says they have a percentage success rate - that's a warning sign that I've written about in another "questions you've asked" post), and no way to tell whether they will take your case or what they will say or do until you talk to them. I know some very good, very experienced workers who have a reputation for being "testy" or "bitchy." I have been included in that number, in fact, before. But I have plenty of clients, some of whom actually like me. It takes all kinds!

For some people, being treated with kid gloves is more important than the truth or the bottom line (and what constitutes "kid gloves" or even "respect" is a question of definition, I assure you). For others, they can take a blunt response if they know the worker is being honest and has their own best interests at heart. No two clients will have the same criteria that are ranked in the same order of importance anyway. One client can get along famously wtih one worker and their best friend can be turned off by or dislike that worker. (Same with clients on the worker's end.) But I can tell you that every member of AIRR has been trained, vetted, investigated, and tested; interacts regularly with at least some of their AIRR colleagues; adheres to AIRR's code of ethics; and will participate in mediation if the client has a legitimate problem with a contracted service. ("She hurt my feelings" or "my lover hasn't come back yet" are not legitimate problems.)  Also, you can always contact a worker and, if they can't or will not help you, ask them for a recommendation to a colleague. We are all colleagues and we know each other - if we think another worker will be a good fit for your case and your personality/communication style, we can probably suggest someone. But while some of us may be better than some others on reconciliation work, or on gambling work, or on protection work, none of us is across-the-board "better" or "higher-rated" than another. There is no such thing as a legitimate rating system, and the people who would expect such a thing give themselves away as not knowing a whole lot about how this stuff actually works, and thus as clients who will need some educating before their case can be accepted. [*]

Can Santisima Muerte be petitioned for uncrossing and healing?

If you are already a devotee of Santisima Muerte and have a strong relationship with her, you probably wouldn't be typing such a thing into Google, so I'd wonder why you want to do this. There are plenty of other saints to petition (and plenty of non-denominational methods) to get help with uncrossing and healing, and it seems like an odd place to start for your first approach to Santisima Muerte. As with any saint, I advise that you establish a good working relationship with him or her before asking for favors. And the penalties for treating this saint with disrespect can be harsher than the penalties for another saint, so that's why I don't advise you just go buy a holy card, bring it home, and start demanding shit. However, preaching and caveats aside, the short answer to the question is yes, she can be petitioned for uncrossing, healing, and a host of other things. Those who have long-standing, strong relationships with any saint will petition that saint for all kinds of things. That's how patronage works, which I touch on in an explanatory post on working with saints as well as in various posts throughout the years including the one on St. Martha (particularly in the comments section of the version on livejournal).

006 (21)

As you can see from this photo essay by Time magazine, devotees petition her for all kinds of things, sometimes the same sorts of things one would petition any saint for, and sometimes for the kind of assistance that other saints wouldn't touch. Here is a collection of prayers that demonstrates some of the range of things for which her devotees call on her. Above all, I think it's important to recognize her and to honor her. Get to know her and let her get to know you. Give her gifts and make a place for her in your home and your life. Use the rituals and traditions of the Catholic church - don't skimp on tradition, on the incense and scapulars and rosaries, on the novenas. Invoke and establish a relationship with a figure like St. Michael or St. Cyprian (or Christ or the Trinity or Holy Family) as well, to honor and call on alongside her. Then you can ask her patronage for blessing, uncrossing, healing, protection, money, justice, etc. But if you've never dealt with her before, and you have a pressing need for uncrossing or healing, I'm not sure why you'd want to start with her for your first attempts - there are simpler and safer ways to approach your goals. But once you have a relationship with her, she is a powerful ally for all kinds of things, is said to love and protect her children fiercely, and will help the under-dog and the disenfranchised get help and justice from persecution.

Can you put Erzulie Freda with Santa Muerte?

I would not recommend this. First of all, they come from two totally different traditions. This is not a buffet and neither will appreciate being treated as mix-n-match. Second of all, they have very different personalities and very different realms. Third, they have both been described as a bit choosier or pickier about the company they keep than some others might be, and neither is a spirit that you want to piss off. Fourth, they do not like the same decor or offerings. Fifth, you complicate an already complex situation by risking displeasure if one perceives that you are treating the other better or not giving her the respect or offerings she deserves; Freda especially can be picky or demanding, and you don't need to invite trouble. If you don't have much room in your home and can't give every saint a separate altar, at least delineate separate areas; for instance, if you have only one mantle on which to keep statues, then have one section set off with a cloth covering of a color appropriate to your work with Santisima Muerte (if you are setting an altar up to her for the first time, I'd start with her white aspect), and have a separate section with pink or lighter blue or a lacy white cloth for Erzulie Freda, so they have their own "rooms." But I have heard of both of these making their displeasure known in very unpleasant ways; I wouldn't do it, personally. I have Erzulie Freda and Erzulie Dantor in separate rooms of the house. I happen to have Erzulie Dantor, the Ghuede family, my ancestor altar, Ogoun, and Santisima Muerte in the same room, but each has their own altar structure, table, shelf, whatever. Dantor and Santa Muerte don't share the same wall (but Santa Muerte shares the same wall with my ancestor altar). My Santisima Muerte altar also has St. Cyprian and St. Michael materials on it, though both St. Cyprian and St. Michael also have their own full altars separately.


Why did my goofer dust fail?

There are way too many moving parts in any given working for anybody to be able to answer that without more information, or for any query you type into Google to be able to supply you with an answer. You might have made or deployed it wrong, you might have done everything right but your target has thorough protection from such tricks, or you might have done everything right and your goal is not the will of God.

How to make Martha the Dominator work in three days?

First of all, I would caution you that you can't "make" a saint do anything. Second of all, don't micromanage stuff like this; it's not very smart. If you go to a lawyer for a problem, you tell him your problem, and he takes your case, and then you let him do his job. You don't dictate the terms and you don't tell him what day your court case is going to be and what the sentence is going to be, and if you tried, he'd at best laugh and he might just show you the door. You don't go to a doctor or therapist with a problem and then tell them how and when to fix the problem; if you do, you're a fool. You don't go to a family member or friend and ask for a favor and then demand that they carry out that favor according to certain details; you ask for the favor, and you politely let them know what you need ("I really need to have the car by 3 pm so I can pick X up at the airport and then I could return it on Sunday, if that's ok with you").

martha dragon

You petition a saint for their intercession, and you let them know what you need, and then you get the hell out of the way. If they grant your petition, you thank them. If they don't, well, maybe it was the will of God, or maybe you were a jerk; maybe there is a good reason that you can't have what you asked for in the timeframe you asked for it in. Maybe three days is unrealistic, and you screwed yourself by insisting on three days - they could have done it in 7, but since you were a jerk about the 3 days, now they aren't going to do a damn thing, because you need to learn a lesson. The saints answer prayers, but sometimes the answer is "No." You still treat them with respect because you have a relationship with them. If you didn't have a relationship with them before you asked a favor, then that was your mistake right there. What would you think if a new person moved into the neighborhood, knocked on your door, and asked to borrow your car for the weekend? You'd think "who the hell is this guy and what is his problem, he can't even introduce himself first?" Sure, there is a long tradition of "compelling" saints and spirits through such measures as turning a picture upside down, whipping a statue, taking something off their altar to return when they come through, etc. But you had damn sure better know what you're doing, have a pre-established relationship with the saint, and know that you aren't risking extreme wrath if you go that route with this saint (not every saint is petitioned/treated this way). Traditionally, such coercive measures were used in emergencies - if the monastery crops were failing and people were starving and the continued existence of the Church and thus the saint's home was threatened, it would be appropriate to set the statue on the floor and be a bit more emphatic about your needs. If it is not an emergency, though, and if you don't already know what you're doing, I would think twice about taking this route.

[*] I don't mean to imply that the only ethical, experienced workers are AIRR workers. There are good workers elsewhere too, and I count plenty of non-AIRR readers and workers as colleagues and friends. I just happen to know the ethics and vetting of AIRR workers, so I can speak in detail and in confidence about them.

(Anonymous) on February 18th, 2013 01:14 am (UTC)
From the NinjaCat
Oh, I dunno, Miz Karma...somehow I think I have an even more popular rep as Super-bitchy McCranky-pants rootworker. ;)

I also loved the "make a saint work in three days" answer. You know...faster isn't always better, and most things that the client claims need fixing "fast" are also the very things which aren't urgent... Such as love and reconciliation. :P

Keep up the good work.

Karma Zainkarmazain on February 18th, 2013 01:22 am (UTC)
Re: From the NinjaCat
Haha.... I know you know *exactly* what I'm talking about :-) both about the "wah she hurt my feelings" complaints and the utterly ridiculous criteria by which some folks, esp. those on "rate your spellcaster" sites, will judge a worker.

My recent posts on "questions you've asked" have largely come from search terms, which is probably not an accurate slice of actual questions, because people will search for things that they wouldn't actually ask a worker to their face. But the stats for my blog have been *very* telling and very interesting, though also exasperating :-)
(Anonymous) on February 18th, 2013 01:34 am (UTC)
Re: From the NinjaCat
Oh, I was actually told about a month ago that I am "Not a real rootworker" because I'm "mean" so I can't be. O.o I have to be honest here... I never knew that kindness and niceness had anything to do with one's magical ability. ;)

I can be very nice, I just don't play well with a$$hats, which I openly admit to. :/
Karma Zainkarmazain on February 18th, 2013 02:31 am (UTC)
Re: From the NinjaCat
Just reading some of that garbage from entitled, whiny people who do not know the first thing about reading or rootwork but who have an opinion about everything is enough to make me feel *Extremely Rude.* I don't blame you one bit for having a bad reaction to being recommended for reconciliation work in one of those forums. That pretty much brings in every worker's nightmare in terms of wannabe clients, exactly the kind of person that I try very hard to prevent from contacting me in the first place, and the very reason why I have some of the form letters I have (so I do not have to deal with their million questions and unreasonable requests until *after* they have read my profile, at which point they should have noticed that I don't take reconciliation cases (because of people like them) and I don't deal well with frantic, desperate people who don't understand how spellwork works and want to proceed to tell me how to do my job).

*Then* when they read that, I'm mean and rude because I "pass judgment" and "who do I think I am to say what is and is not justified and what is and is not an emergency" and "it's not my place to tell somebody else that the pain in their heart is not real" and "I don't need a reader to tell me it won't work, I need them to give me hope, if I wanted to cut and clear, I'd just do that." *head-fuckin-desk and no wonder you are always complaining about getting ripped off - you are walking around with a bullseye on your ass, inviting unethical workers to take your money in exchange for false hope*

It's like a gaggle of hens in a high school bathroom, man - all the maturity, wisdom, and hormones of a teenage drama queen.

(Now I have probably alienated half my readership. I am totally not saying, for those of you reading this, that everybody with a love problem is a hormonal teen/unrealistic/ridiculous/petty. And not everybody who uses those forums is any or all of those things either. As with many things, it only takes a couple of bad apples to spoil the bunch. [and only takes a couple to help perpetuate truly amazing bullshit to the new and uninformed.] But some of the ignorance on those things is *absolutely breathtaking,* and if you aren't familiar with them, you should go check some out, and I am confident that you would come back understanding what I mean and that I am not just being bitchy or spiteful!)
(Anonymous) on February 18th, 2013 03:18 am (UTC)
Re: From the NinjaCat
Oh, no, no. I hear you loud and clear, and the people you reference GENERALLY SPEAKING are no one you'd be hurting yourself to alienate.

I used to get 3ish total whackanuts a year. Stupid knows-little-and-less-about-real-spellcasting "review sites" recommended me and now I get at least 10 a day. When I asked one to remove me, he told me I should "be thankful" for my placing there. Sort of like I should be thankful if I was a physical therapist who helped a man to walk again after a terrible accident and, in thanks, he placed an ad he made for me under "Adult Erotic Services" in cragislist with my phone number and name saying "Without Cat, I'd never have gotten erect again" right? :P

I *do* feel badly about having to pass this judgement on sites which are often made with good intentions. However, I recall looking at one or two and finding several clients I only know by their terrible reputations (I never worked for them personally, but have been warned by multiple workers,) plus a few from my "Run don't walk away if they contact you list," posting on there. I have gotten a lot of disgusting requests from "Kill his wife's baby in her womb so her husband won't stay with her," to "Make this 15 year old love my 40 year old self," to "Curse my wife so someone rapes her, because that would turn me on," and other equally frightening requests.

This is not to say I haven't found some wonderful clients via these sites, but sadly they are the exception and not the rule. :/ They seem to be misinformation sites. I've seen real workers in the "Fake" list, and obviously fake workers in the "Real" list, so they aren't helping people very much from what I can tell.

I have likened using google to find a real spellcaster as being about as brilliant as putting in "best anti wrinkle cream" in there. What comes up in the results in google first are all the sucker creams that are probably just mostly cocoa butter but cost $200 or more. Why do these come up first? Because people are desperate for a miracle to look young. Yet the actual best stuff is not going to be easy to find in google results because people shilling the worthless expensive stuff tend to make sure they are placed high on the google search list. Same logic seems to apply with finding a spellcaster. Except with finding a spellcaster you need to look for the one who DOES NOT promise you anything and everything, as well as you'll need to know what real spellcasting is...at least a little bit. Gypsy Voodoo Wicca, for example is probably incredibly fake. Easy to spot if you know anything about real spellcraft (2 are technically religions, one is more like an ethnic group, which sort of makes a stupid combo to the informed. Considering on 2 sites I was placed next to a person who was selling Gypsy Voodoo Wicca Faery Love spells (*sigh*) in the "real list" I do have to wonder who is vetting who is real and what sort of logic are they using?

My application process would not be nearly as extreme except for those lists. I don't think you're being bitchy or spiteful at all. I think you're being too nice. But, then again, I do have a rep for being Bitchy McCranky-pants. ;) I guess that comes from a willingness to say no, and a willingness to say "You have no realistic concept of what spells are, how they work, what they can accomplish, and I've neither the time nor energy to teach you that." ;)

Alright, I'm done being bitchy on your thread. I promise. ;)

aka Bitchy McCranky-pants
Karma Zainkarmazain on February 18th, 2013 03:43 am (UTC)
well said!
"I have likened using google to find a real spellcaster as being about as brilliant as putting in "best anti wrinkle cream" in there. What comes up in the results in google first are all the sucker creams that are probably just mostly cocoa butter but cost $200 or more. Why do these come up first? Because people are desperate for a miracle to look young. Yet the actual best stuff is not going to be easy to find in google results because people shilling the worthless expensive stuff tend to make sure they are placed high on the google search list. Same logic seems to apply with finding a spellcaster."

Exactly! Anybody who takes all applicants and (purportedly) does 20 reconciliation spells every day and is rolling in enough dough to pay for top spots on Google with expensive keywords to lure in even more desperate reconciliation clients, and who is a member of a big enough "ring" of people running several related fraud and confidence game setups to have all the fake websites and testimonials referring to each other, is *not* somebody you should want doing altar work for you. These things prove one thing only: that the advertiser is good at search engine optimization. It says nothing at all about their spirituality, talents, or magical skills. It's possible to be both a web-savvy site designer and a good, ethical worker. But I'd want to find that such a person was spending at least as much time on the reading and rootworking they purport to do as on the keyword spamming and adwords ranking they have proven they do!

Re. extreme application procedures. Exactly again. So many folks get turned off by that, and I guess I can see how it might seem awfully prickly to a blog reader who doesn't do work for the public, but if they had any idea of the stuff we get in our inboxes every day they would see where it came from. I haven't had the misfortune to receive the "kill my lover's baby in its mothers womb so he will leave her" requests, but I've had similar, and yeah -- UGH. Frightening. I have had people write and *demand* I make a doll to kill their neighbor over a land boundary dispute. I have had people tell me that they bought my most expensive mojo bag, so that obviously earns them the privilege of speaking on the phone to me at their whim. And my favorite - the requests to make potions or dolls to *selectively paralyze and animate, at will, a woman or even multiple women,* so that they were unable to speak or move or cry out until the would-be client with total control over their bodies decided to release them after doing -- or sitting through -- his bidding. EEEWWWWWWWWW.

So those who have not had the misfortune to meet some of the people we've met may wonder where we get off, but I often think the real question in any case ought to be "how do you still even open your email in the mornings" lol... Honestly, though, the application process and the intake procedures are kinder and quicker for everybody involved, ultimately, and they actually keep us from getting all disgusted and cynical about human nature so that we *can* listen to people and explain things without losing our patience and can still have empathy and compassion to take on clients at all. I always figure if I've offended anybody through my blog or site, then there's a pretty good chance we wouldn't have worked together too well anyway, so I probably saved us both some trouble by making it pretty clear where I come from and how I communicate from the outset, in full public view :-)