Big Lucky Hoodoo

25 May 2012 @ 12:42 am

addendum to "my path is your fashion accessory" post

Here's a great one:

You call Santisima Muerte a goddess, and write a "fidelity binding voodoo spell" (featuring a voodoo doll) that calls on her as a goddess, and you take a photo in front of your purple pentacle altar cloth.

I know I should really be over it by now, and I certainly don't search this kind of stuff out and invite a brain embolism at the stupidity, but I end up checking this stuff out when clients write and say things like "I read such and such at this and that website, is this a good spell for me to do for my situation?" and then I check it out and my brain explodes.

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23 May 2012 @ 02:04 pm

new at karmazain.com

Rosaries
Soaps and Waters
Wholesale/Larger Sizes of some formulas

None of these are complete yet, but I'm working on them as I can. Feel free to write if you want something you don't see up at the website yet.

Tags: karmazain.com

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23 May 2012 @ 01:47 pm

hoodoo as an accessory

How to know you're reading something written by someone for whom hoodoo is an accessory and not a first language, #3472:

they try to sell you a recipe for "cleansing" a mojo bag.
they tell you they are a hereditary+initiated something or other, usually also alongside membership in two or more covens.
they tell you that all rootwork needs the consent of Baron Samedi, and/or call Manman Brigitte a goddess.
they are a specialist/high priestess/hereditary recipient of knowledge regarding no less than four different and pretty distinct spiritual traditions, usually with some gypsy thrown in for good measure. Look, if you really grew up among an impoverished class of people who traditionally didn't have access to the very best educations and libraries, to get first-hand family-based knowledge of this stuff, then your momma was not the world-traveler she would have had to have been to become an expert in all this stuff and pass it down to you, see? and we all know that, so you aren't fooling anyone.

not necessarily proof of bullshit, but certainly proof of leaky ethics:

parts of their blog/listing closely mirror mine or that of one of my colleagues closely enough that while it wouldn't necessarily be worth a suit or "cease and desist letter," the writer would certainly fail English 101 for not citing their sources. I always hear about it eventually, and I have a spell jar for people just like you, so please go copy somebody else, or better yet, don't.

I am all in favor of people of learning about conjure and finding the parallels between hoodoo and other ways of working that they did learn about from their families and neighborhoods. I think the best, most powerful magic is the magic that is in your blood, bones, and breath - I don't mean that in a hereditary or racial sense, but in the sense that what is "best" is what you are comfortable with and know intimately, that you "get" the theory behind and the flavor of, that really resonates with you on multiple levels and isn't "exotic" to you. What upsets me is a random blending of shit that results in folks calling themselves hereditary practitioners of something in cases where they are clearly making shit up and putting together a buffet of cultures and influences. Look, run a botanica that caters to everybody in your neighborhood or a lot of different cultures and ethnicities and backgrounds in your region - that's smart. Just don't get the inventory mixed up to the point where you start telling folks that St. Peter IS Legba IS Ellegua, that the loa are goddesses, or that you are a descendant of both Mary Magdalene and some high priestess lineage from Benin (as if) and happened to grow up in a neighborhood where several different cultures and ethnicities all somehow practiced their crafts and religions openly in some sort of swap meet of traditions, and taught it all to special little you as a child. 'Cause if you claim that and are over the age of 20 and didn't grow up in one of a scant handful of narrow geographical regions in the world - and probably as the child of a diplomat - I don't believe you, and nobody with any sense will either. I fully expect to find you selling the estate of a voodoo priestess, which includes some stuff from the pyramids of Egypt and a wish-granting genie trapped in a ring, on ebay next week.

Don't be a dirtbag, and don't be disrespectful of your ancestors, that's all.

This post has been brought to you by a slightly irritable Karma Zain. Happy hoodooing, y'all.

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17 May 2012 @ 11:12 am

private to caller from South Africa from earlier this week

If your name sounds like or is similar to Grey and you called me from South Africa on Saturday and left a message, 1. my assistant couldn't quite catch the whole thing or the whole number you left, 2. if she had, she would tell you to email me anyway. That's the only way to get me directly in any kind of near-future timeframe. So please use the contact form at my website, or the email address available at my AIRR page, to send me a message directly.

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16 May 2012 @ 05:55 am

Erzulie Dantor libation bottle

Erzulie Dantor voodoo altar/libation bottle

Tags: altars, erzulie dantor, voodoo

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05 May 2012 @ 06:36 am

status post - consultation, reading, and light setting report queue

Current ebay message queue:

~~Everything prior to April 28 is dealt with.~~
~~Everything prior to May 2 is dealt with~~.
~~Everything prior to May 8 is dealt with.~~
~~Everything prior to May 14 is dealt with.~~
Everything prior to May 21 is dealt with.

Hassle with idiots and with eBay has also resulted in my not carrying as many items on eBay as I once did. So every day, my inventory at eBay gets smaller. Blame the idiots - the buyer version and the ebay employee version). If you want something I no longer carry on ebay that is always in stock, and it's not up at the store website yet, just email me at the website and I'll get it added to the inventory for you.

Blocked buyers/clients/customers:

See the last status / queue report post for more info on how to get blocked and how to get unblocked. If you are wondering if you've not heard back from me on ebay because you've been blocked, here is the list of buyers I've blocked lately - if you are on here and want to talk about the situation, you'll have to email me directly, because your ebay messages will not reach me.

[If you are wondering why it takes me so long to answer emails in general, dealing with this non-paying bidder crap and message back-and-forth stuff is part of the answer.]

( Read more... )

If you are new and this is scaring you off, please don't let it - I don't bite unless I'm bitten first, and the overwhelming majority of new customers are just lovely. If you are reading this post and this blog, you are probably not going to end up in the blocked list, since 99% of blocked buyers ended up blocked because they do not read - item listings, directions, FAQs, email responses, store policies. (The other 1% get blocked for pestering me after repeatedly being told not to, or thinking that the policies don't apply to them somehow.)

Current gmail/website contact form message queue:

Please note that if you send a new message in a thread that has a currently unread or unresponded message, your message moves down the inbox queue and is reordered according to the date of latest message. So by all means send more info if it's a burning issue, but if it is not a burning issue, just wait until I get back to you on the last thing for quickest response. My tagging/notification/flagging system rewards the patient, not the persistent, and it is set up to notify me right away if you write on a case or issue that is pending because of info I'm waiting on from you. If you send a response in a different thread and do not follow the directions for contact about your case, your response will not turn up flagged as needing my immediate attention, and your message will go into the very large pool of random or new inquiries that I will respond to only after I have responded to the things that need my immediate attention. Bottom line: follow the directions.

~~Caught up prior to April 15~~
~~Everything prior to April 25 is dealt with,~~
~~Everything prior to May 4 is dealt with.~~
Everything prior to May 10 is dealt with except for stuff that needs looking up, paying, researching, invoicing, Motrin or bourbon before I can read it, divination, etc.

consultation queue:

~~SRE~~
TW
LM
FP
EH - refunded
EH - gambling
~~EH - business employees~~
~~EH - health~~
~~ML - mojo/pendant diagnosis & consultation~~
KY
MM
MM
DS
DS
AF
NN
~~EH- refunded/refused (already declined case)~~
LS
NS
RL

consultations pending

SB - waiting on issue/question for consultation
DJ - waiting on info
AS - waiting on selection of issue/question
EH - attraction - waiting on info

light reports or photos:

~~PS - road opener~~
~~PS - attraction~~
~~PS - fmb/kmq~~
SG
ES
VS
AT
AM
~~PS - commanding~~
PS - kmq
~~ES - relationship~~
~~TS - success~~
AT
ES - job
TS - relationship
MC in AR - photo, business
MC in AR - photo, work conditions

waiting on info/photos/petition:

MC

If you are not listed above, your light's not done burning, or you ordered a "run" or series of lights back to back. Don't bug me about it; you'll get your report when it's ready (review your booking acknowledgment email for details). If you see your initials here and they are crossed out and you have NOT gotten your report, THEN you should bug me about it, because it means I sent it, so we need to find out where it went if you don't have it.

altar work reports, updates, and/or photos owed:

AF - jar
AF - lodestone
KY - summary/photos of MSWM and CoE
~~AC - honey jar rpt~~

NB: If you have an ongoing contract for runs of lights or honey jars, and you have NOT gotten an invitation/link to the online client calendar (on gmail/google calendars) I made so you can check the status of your work, then write me and I will send you an invitation to the client calendar or investigate why you didn't get one. If you have been sent an invitation, you should be able to log into google calendars with the email address you used to pay your invoice, and it should be available for viewing as "Karma Zain's Calendar" or something like that. Please inquire in the current thread dedicated to your altar work instead of sending a new message.

other pending issues:

JH - waiting on personal concerns for altar work
JH - chicken foot situation pending
~~CS - Brazil - waiting on your response. eta: I guess you got it since you never wrote back.~~
~~AF - waiting to hear your decision about the mailing address~~
~~TV - waiting on instructions for disposition of finished jar~~
~~JH - waiting on instructions for disposition of finished jar~~

readings:

JR
GS

Tags: altar work, consultation queue, light settings, reading queue, status update

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04 May 2012 @ 12:53 am

on dialect, cultural study, and learning hoodoo

In the comments section of an old post about a hotfoot spell given by a Hyatt informant, some interesting comments have unfolded which I think worth pointing out. The informant says, among other things:

Well, yo' got three pieces of dat dog manure. Yo'll commence wit dis one, say, "Now, ah'll set chew heah dat chew cannot stay in dis house, "Under de Highest Name of de Father". Ah'll set chew [second piece] heah dat chew cannot stay in dis house. Yo'll be 'bliged tuh go, an', "In de Name of de Son."

Now, two readers just commented on this only recently. I was born and raised in the deep South so I guess I have some tunnel vision, because it honestly never occurred to me for a second that American people could misread or misunderstand the above. I guess my background is actually a hindrance in my communicating with readers sometimes.

One commenter is a non-native speaker of English - I completely understand how a non-native speaker of English could have trouble with the way Hyatt tries to capture the dialect of his informant. But coming from a native speaker - well, it blew my mind that s/he could actually think there was chewing involved in this spell. Sorry, hun, to pick on you, but I guess I now have a clearer understanding of why some teachers of hoodoo have to make it mandatory that their students actually *speak to an African American person,* because some people never have and never would and yet would think to undertake a study of African-American folk magic. The mind, it boggles. My takeaway point from this was, in part:

If you can't understand the dialects of the people who perpetuate these practices, you can't really study the sources, living or passed on. It's part of why cat in her rootwork course encourages students to actually learn about African American culture(s) and requires that they interview people instead of just trying to learn from books (which *cannot* be done, not really, not thoroughly).

Just for the record, this spell does not involve any chewing. If you read the dialogue out loud to yourself, you might be able to "hear" what you are having trouble processing on the printed page.

Tags: hyatt, learning conjure

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28 April 2012 @ 05:16 am

scams and frauds - unethical worker alert

A spammer has been hitting my blog comments to advertise paid voodoo services to get one's lover back. If you don't know why this is a combo of like three different red flags that you should be on the lookout for when you hunt for a professional worker, then read up at my links and resources on frauds and scams, such as my post on How to Avoid Scam Artists.

The spam purports to be from Janet or Jannet Watson (or Madeson), the supposedly satisfied customer (but actual sock puppet) of a MERUJA OWO. The comment lets you know to be wary of emails from merujaowo101 at live.com and dorispinto101 at yahoo.com You can see an essentially identical spam post at any of the following links in the comments sections:

A response to "Spiritual Book Study" where you learn to guard yourself against the email addresses Nativedoctor101 at live.com and jannet_madeson at yahoo.com. 'Cause, you know, real voodoo magic is 1. all about getting your straying husband back with no effort on your part, and 2. all about Native American spirituality. (eyeroll)

A response to a blog post about Mitt Romney with the same email addresses

A blog on kids' hair, same email addresses

An "article" on getting your lover back from someone else entirely, which gives us a new name to be wary of: Gregory Mitche (who signs his/her comment as Jannet Madeson whose husband was returned through voodoo magic)

and you can easily find 20 more pages worth if you google jannet_madeson at yahoo or Meruja Owo.

What you can't find is any other information on Meruja Owo aside from an email address that changes from site to site. Red flags all around.

I do not have time to go hunting for this stuff - it's not my hobby to go around identifying probable scam artists, nor is it my job. However, when one brings himself or herself to my attention my trying to scam my readers by spamming my blog, I will take a few minutes to remind the world that there are honest workers out there, and ethical workers don't drum up business by spamming hundreds of blogs and pretending to be a satisfied client. Caveat emptor!

Tags: frauds, scams

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19 April 2012 @ 06:55 pm

A Medieval Prayer for Protection

This short excerpt is from a much longer Old English work called Christ, which is usually referred to according to its three major sections, so you'll see it as Christ A, B, C or Christ I, II, III. What follows is thus technically cited as Christ II, lines 771b-777a. It is also notable for being one of the few explicit references to all three persons of the Trinity as such in Old English poetry.

Utan us beorgan þa,
þenden we on eorðan eard weardien;
utan us to fæder freoþa wilnian,
biddan bearn godes ond þone bliðan gæst
þæt he us gescilde wið sceaþan wæpnum,
laþra lygesearwum, se us lif forgeaf,
leomu, lic ond gæst.

Let us now protect ourselves while we keep our dwelling on earth; let us ask peace from the Father, pray to the son of God and the joyful Spirit that He shield us from the weapons of the harmful ones, from the lying entrapments of the hateful ones, He who gave us life, limbs, body and spirit.