- You call Santisima Muerte a goddess, and write a "fidelity binding voodoo spell" (featuring a voodoo doll) that calls on her as a goddess, and you take a photo in front of your purple pentacle altar cloth.
Soaps and Waters
Wholesale/Larger Sizes of some formulas
None of these are complete yet, but I'm working on them as I can. Feel free to write if you want something you don't see up at the website yet.
- they try to sell you a recipe for "cleansing" a mojo bag.
- they tell you they are a hereditary+initiated something or other, usually also alongside membership in two or more covens.
- they tell you that all rootwork needs the consent of Baron Samedi, and/or call Manman Brigitte a goddess.
- they are a specialist/high priestess/hereditary recipient of knowledge regarding no less than four different and pretty distinct spiritual traditions, usually with some gypsy thrown in for good measure. Look, if you really grew up among an impoverished class of people who traditionally didn't have access to the very best educations and libraries, to get first-hand family-based knowledge of this stuff, then your momma was not the world-traveler she would have had to have been to become an expert in all this stuff and pass it down to you, see? and we all know that, so you aren't fooling anyone.
not necessarily proof of bullshit, but certainly proof of leaky ethics:
- parts of their blog/listing closely mirror mine or that of one of my colleagues closely enough that while it wouldn't necessarily be worth a suit or "cease and desist letter," the writer would certainly fail English 101 for not citing their sources. I always hear about it eventually, and I have a spell jar for people just like you, so please go copy somebody else, or better yet, don't.
Don't be a dirtbag, and don't be disrespectful of your ancestors, that's all.
This post has been brought to you by a slightly irritable Karma Zain. Happy hoodooing, y'all.
Current ebay message queue:Everything prior to April 28 is dealt with.Everything prior to May 2 is dealt with.Everything prior to May 8 is dealt with.Everything prior to May 14 is dealt with.
Everything prior to May 21 is dealt with.
Hassle with idiots and with eBay has also resulted in my not carrying as many items on eBay as I once did. So every day, my inventory at eBay gets smaller. Blame the idiots - the buyer version and the ebay employee version). If you want something I no longer carry on ebay that is always in stock, and it's not up at the store website yet, just email me at the website and I'll get it added to the inventory for you.
Blocked buyers/clients/customers:
See the last status / queue report post for more info on how to get blocked and how to get unblocked. If you are wondering if you've not heard back from me on ebay because you've been blocked, here is the list of buyers I've blocked lately - if you are on here and want to talk about the situation, you'll have to email me directly, because your ebay messages will not reach me.
[If you are wondering why it takes me so long to answer emails in general, dealing with this non-paying bidder crap and message back-and-forth stuff is part of the answer.]
( Read more... )
If you are new and this is scaring you off, please don't let it - I don't bite unless I'm bitten first, and the overwhelming majority of new customers are just lovely. If you are reading this post and this blog, you are probably not going to end up in the blocked list, since 99% of blocked buyers ended up blocked because they do not read - item listings, directions, FAQs, email responses, store policies. (The other 1% get blocked for pestering me after repeatedly being told not to, or thinking that the policies don't apply to them somehow.)
Current gmail/website contact form message queue:
Please note that if you send a new message in a thread that has a currently unread or unresponded message, your message moves down the inbox queue and is reordered according to the date of latest message. So by all means send more info if it's a burning issue, but if it is not a burning issue, just wait until I get back to you on the last thing for quickest response. My tagging/notification/flagging system rewards the patient, not the persistent, and it is set up to notify me right away if you write on a case or issue that is pending because of info I'm waiting on from you. If you send a response in a different thread and do not follow the directions for contact about your case, your response will not turn up flagged as needing my immediate attention, and your message will go into the very large pool of random or new inquiries that I will respond to only after I have responded to the things that need my immediate attention. Bottom line: follow the directions.
Everything prior to May 10 is dealt with except for stuff that needs looking up, paying, researching, invoicing, Motrin or bourbon before I can read it, divination, etc.
consultation queue:
LM
EH - gambling
KY
MM
MM
DS
DS
AF
NN
LS
NS
RL
consultations pending
SB - waiting on issue/question for consultation
DJ - waiting on info
AS - waiting on selection of issue/question
EH - attraction - waiting on info
light reports or photos:
PS - kmq
ES - job
TS - relationship
MC in AR - photo, business
MC in AR - photo, work conditions
waiting on info/photos/petition:
MC
If you are not listed above, your light's not done burning, or you ordered a "run" or series of lights back to back. Don't bug me about it; you'll get your report when it's ready (review your booking acknowledgment email for details). If you see your initials here and they are crossed out and you have NOT gotten your report, THEN you should bug me about it, because it means I sent it, so we need to find out where it went if you don't have it.
altar work reports, updates, and/or photos owed:
AF - lodestone
KY - summary/photos of MSWM and CoE
NB: If you have an ongoing contract for runs of lights or honey jars, and you have NOT gotten an invitation/link to the online client calendar (on gmail/google calendars) I made so you can check the status of your work, then write me and I will send you an invitation to the client calendar or investigate why you didn't get one. If you have been sent an invitation, you should be able to log into google calendars with the email address you used to pay your invoice, and it should be available for viewing as "Karma Zain's Calendar" or something like that. Please inquire in the current thread dedicated to your altar work instead of sending a new message.
other pending issues:
JH - waiting on personal concerns for altar work
JH - chicken foot situation pending
readings:
JR
GS
Well, yo' got three pieces of dat dog manure. Yo'll commence wit dis one, say, "Now, ah'll set chew heah dat chew cannot stay in dis house, "Under de Highest Name of de Father". Ah'll set chew [second piece] heah dat chew cannot stay in dis house. Yo'll be 'bliged tuh go, an', "In de Name of de Son."
Now, two readers just commented on this only recently. I was born and raised in the deep South so I guess I have some tunnel vision, because it honestly never occurred to me for a second that American people could misread or misunderstand the above. I guess my background is actually a hindrance in my communicating with readers sometimes.
One commenter is a non-native speaker of English - I completely understand how a non-native speaker of English could have trouble with the way Hyatt tries to capture the dialect of his informant. But coming from a native speaker - well, it blew my mind that s/he could actually think there was chewing involved in this spell. Sorry, hun, to pick on you, but I guess I now have a clearer understanding of why some teachers of hoodoo have to make it mandatory that their students actually *speak to an African American person,* because some people never have and never would and yet would think to undertake a study of African-American folk magic. The mind, it boggles. My takeaway point from this was, in part:
If you can't understand the dialects of the people who perpetuate these practices, you can't really study the sources, living or passed on. It's part of why cat in her rootwork course encourages students to actually learn about African American culture(s) and requires that they interview people instead of just trying to learn from books (which *cannot* be done, not really, not thoroughly).
Just for the record, this spell does not involve any chewing. If you read the dialogue out loud to yourself, you might be able to "hear" what you are having trouble processing on the printed page.
The spam purports to be from Janet or Jannet Watson (or Madeson), the supposedly satisfied customer (but actual sock puppet) of a MERUJA OWO. The comment lets you know to be wary of emails from merujaowo101 at live.com and dorispinto101 at yahoo.com You can see an essentially identical spam post at any of the following links in the comments sections:
A response to "Spiritual Book Study" where you learn to guard yourself against the email addresses Nativedoctor101 at live.com and jannet_madeson at yahoo.com. 'Cause, you know, real voodoo magic is 1. all about getting your straying husband back with no effort on your part, and 2. all about Native American spirituality. (eyeroll)
A response to a blog post about Mitt Romney with the same email addresses
A blog on kids' hair, same email addresses
An "article" on getting your lover back from someone else entirely, which gives us a new name to be wary of: Gregory Mitche (who signs his/her comment as Jannet Madeson whose husband was returned through voodoo magic)
and you can easily find 20 more pages worth if you google jannet_madeson at yahoo or Meruja Owo.
What you can't find is any other information on Meruja Owo aside from an email address that changes from site to site. Red flags all around.
I do not have time to go hunting for this stuff - it's not my hobby to go around identifying probable scam artists, nor is it my job. However, when one brings himself or herself to my attention my trying to scam my readers by spamming my blog, I will take a few minutes to remind the world that there are honest workers out there, and ethical workers don't drum up business by spamming hundreds of blogs and pretending to be a satisfied client. Caveat emptor!
This short excerpt is from a much longer Old English work called Christ, which is usually referred to according to its three major sections, so you'll see it as Christ A, B, C or Christ I, II, III. What follows is thus technically cited as Christ II, lines 771b-777a. It is also notable for being one of the few explicit references to all three persons of the Trinity as such in Old English poetry.
Utan us beorgan þa,
þenden we on eorðan eard weardien;
utan us to fæder freoþa wilnian,
biddan bearn godes ond þone bliðan gæst
þæt he us gescilde wið sceaþan wæpnum,
laþra lygesearwum, se us lif forgeaf,
leomu, lic ond gæst.
Let us now protect ourselves while we keep our dwelling on earth; let us ask peace from the Father, pray to the son of God and the joyful Spirit that He shield us from the weapons of the harmful ones, from the lying entrapments of the hateful ones, He who gave us life, limbs, body and spirit.
Instructions for Products: Why There Aren't Any
Vigil Lights: How to Dress Them
Using Products
Using Products, redux
Using Products and Finding Info
Hoodoo Theory: Using Irritants in Hoodoo
Hoodoo Theory: History of Powders
How Much Work is "Too Much"?
Doll Babies and Image Magic
How-To: Hoodoo Theory on Targets and "Direction" of Work
Name and Petition Papers
How-To: Using Products for Success and Mastery
Personal Concerns: Theory and Practice
How-to: Stop Gossip and Theory on Commanding/Compelling Work
Petitions: Focusing your Goals
Using Condition Oils
"How Long Will It Take To Work?"
Timing and Duration in Spellwork
Books, Spellbooks, Instructions
Tying a Mojo
How-To: Where to Keep a Mojo
How-To: Black Cat Bones to Return a Lover
Bring Back a Lover: Theory and Practice
Breakup Work
Sneaky Tricks: Personal Concerns in Food
Saints and Angels: Working With and Petitioning
Saints and Angels: Theory
"What's the Strongest Possible Spell/Product/Mojo?"
Reconciliation: The Collected Posts
Reconciliation: Realistic Expectations
Love Spells and "Free Will"
Free Will Redux
Graveyard Dirt & Graveyard Work
Working With Saints
Etiquette and Ethics
On Scams and "impossible magic"
"No Real Spellcaster would....": Myths and Legends
How to Avoid Scam Artists
Booking New Altar Work
Personal Concerns
Getting Fired as a Client or Customer: How to Avoid
Readings: How to Get a Lame Reading
On Success Rates and Guarantees
Backfiring Work, Karma, the Threefold "Law"
General and Miscellaneous
"Where is My Package?"
About Karma Zain
Common Altar Work and Services
Hiring Multiple Workers
Shelf Life